Who Are You, And Who Am I?
by BalthierFan6828
Summary: Vaan never liked Balthier much, but when the pirate loses his memory after a head injury he becomes a different person all together.  He's kind and loving, and Vaan finds out his real feelings for the pirate. Balthier/Vaan.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I know my last fic ended on a depressing note so I wanted to write something with a happy ending. This is one again a Balthier/Vaan pairing, Rated T to begin with but that may change I don't know. Hope you guys enjoy, Review Please!**

**Who Are You and Who am I?**

Balthier was everything that Vaan wanted to be when he got older. The sky pirate was dashing, charming, handsome, and brave, but Vaan didn't like being around the older man much anymore. He was cocky, not that he didn't have reason to be, but Vaan often wished Balthier was a little more…caring. Penelo had always joked about him having a crush on the pirate, and for a while Vaan had started to think that she might have been right, but these days he found that he could barely stand to even be around him.

They were in the Ozmone Plains, resting more than anything. Basch was teaching him and Penelo some new sword techniques and Fran and Ashe were sitting nearby chatting. The pirate, as usual, was off by himself a short distance, cleaning one of his prize guns. Nothing eventful had happened in weeks, and Vaan was starting to get more than a little bored. There was good hunting in the plains, and they had gotten some good battle experience here. None of the fiends were_ too_ hard to beat, but not so easy that it was painfully dull to fight them.

A screech erupted from above them, and the six of them snapped to attention as a giant Zu bird swooped down at them. No one panicked, the birds were easy enough to defeat if you had long range weapons. Vaan's sword wasn't much use in this fight, and so he found himself watching Balthier. The older man held his gun in one hand, aiming perfectly and stepping calmly out of the way of a blow at the last second. He was so graceful; the sweat that ran down his brow glistened as though it were diamond droplets. His fighting seemed so effortless, as if the pirate didn't have a care in the world. The bird was almost finished off now, and Vaan waited for the blow that would bring it to the ground. It lashed out a final time in its death throes, but something was wrong. As it lashed out, its strong beak made contact with Balthier's temple. The bird and the pirate fell at the same time, and Vaan seemed to see it all happen in slow motion. The gun fell from the pirate's hand just a split second before he hit the ground himself, crimson blood running down the right side of his face. Once again the boy marveled at how graceful the other man could be even when injured, he hadn't so much as grunt as he hit the ground.

It had, in a way, been a freak accident and Fran knew that Balthier would be a little embarrassed when he woke up. They had carried the injured man back to the Strahl and the wound had been no match for Fran's healing skills. She had told them all that Balthier would be fine when he woke up; he just needed to sleep now. Vaan had not thought much more about the incident since they had left the pirate in his bed and Fran had healed him, it was dark outside now and everyone was asleep he supposed…everyone except him. He was wide awake, and bored. Maybe Penelo was awake, at least then he'd have someone to talk to. He slipped out of his room and quietly made his way down the hall towards Penelo's room. He heard a slight noise coming from the main room of the Strahl and turned around, glad to know that someone else was awake. He was almost down the hall when someone ran past the door of the main room. His interest peaked; he moved on slowly toward the door. When he entered the room he didn't see anyone, he didn't see Balthier sneak up behind him and put the gun to the back of his head, but he felt it. "Turn around," ordered the pirate, but there was something different about his voice…it sounded…unsure. "Balthier? What the…" started Vaan in a startled voice as he slowly turned around to face the older man. "Shut up!," shouted the pirate, still pointing the gun at the boy's head, "Who are you?" "What?" asked the blonde boy, becoming more and more confused. "Tell me who you are before I blow your goddamn brains out kid," warned the pirate, he emphasized his point by cocking the gun. Vaan's mouth hung open, unable to comprehend what was going on. Balthier was not wearing his usual gold vest, and his normally perfectly ironed white shirt was wrinkled and unbuttoned. He had a strange look in his eyes, as if he were…scared._ Oh god, _thought Vaan,_ he really has no idea who I am._ "Balthier," he stammered, slowly reaching for the alarm button that he knew was on the wall beside him, "Just calm down, Ok. I'm Vaan…you…you know me." The pirate looked at his skeptically, "What did you call me?" Once again the boy was taken aback, "Balthier…that's…that's…your name." The brunette eyed him warily, but didn't answer. He flinched when Vaan hit the alarm, and then he tackled the boy.

That's the scene the others found when they got there. It was Basch's strong arms that finally pulled the pirate off of the boy, and not knowing the situation…let him go so that he could help Vaan up. Balthier's first move was to go for the gun, and now he stood pointing it at all five of his shocked comrades. "Balthier, what the fuck are…" started Basch only to be interrupted by Vaan, "He doesn't know who we are, or who he is I don't think." Basch muttered a string of curses under his breath and began to approach the pirate cautiously, "Balthier, we are your friends. We are not going to hurt you." Balthier tensed, but made no move to pull the trigger, "I don't believe you, prove it," he said. It was Fran's turn to intervene. She approached him slowly, but he shied away. "Balthier, you must let me tell you what I know in secret. You would not be happy for it to be said aloud." The brunette still would not go near her, "Say what you have to say, but stay away from me." Vaan was shocked, was Balthier afraid of Fran? Fran sighed, "Very well then. I can prove that you and I are close, and then you can accept my vouching for the others. Is this satisfactory to you?" The pirate, who seemed as if he were shaking slightly in fear of the others now, nodded his head slowly, but refused to lower the gun. The Viera sighed and looked at the others, "In his right mind he would not want this information to be known to you, keep that in mind," she warned. They nodded in unison and watched her turn back to the pirate apologetically, "Take off your shirt, Balthier, and look at your back in the mirror. On it are seven scars that reach from the top of your left shoulder all the way down to your lower back. They are quite old, but will never heal." She stood there silently a moment, watching the pirate intently. Balthier himself looked as though he didn't believe her, but after a moment he laid the gun down and slipped the shirt off. When he turned to walk toward the mirror Vaan's heart skipped a beat, he'd always assumed that the flawless skin he was used to seeing on the pirate's face covered his entire body…he'd been wrong. Even Basch looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling guilty at how embarrassed of his own scar he was, because it was nothing compared to the pirate's back. Balthier stood with his back to the mirror now, his head craned around examining the scars. He touched them lightly with his fingers, as much of them as he could reach anyway, before looking back at the others. "Who are you," he asked, the fear evident in his voice, "And who am I?"

_To be continued…_

**Hope you guys enjoyed. I am going to immediately start work on Chapter 2 so stay tuned. Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is Chapter 2 of Who Are You, And Who Am I? I know that there wasn't much Balthier/Vaan action in the last chapter so I'll try to make up for it in this one. Rated T for cursing mostly. Review please, hope you enjoy!**

**Who Are You, And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 2**

No one knew what to say. Fran approached the pirate again, and this time he didn't shy away. He let her lead him over to the couch and sit him down. The others gathered around him as he pulled his knees up under his chin and wrapped his arms around them tightly. He allowed Fran to stroke his hair, although there was no evidence that he remembered who she was. "Can spells fix it?" asked Penelo hopefully. "Doubtful," said Basch, "Surely, he'll remember in time." He looked at Fran when he said this, as if he were waiting for her to confirm it. Vaan could only stare at Balthier, who looked so scared and small sitting there looking at them all with child-like wide eyes. The pirate's chest, he noticed now, was also covered with scars of various sizes…all of them old. No one said anything for a long time. Fran finally attempted to explain to Balthier who he was and what they were all doing there, but he didn't remember any of it. She even told him a few stories about adventures the two of them had before joining Ashe's quest, but still Balthier didn't remember.

They decided in the end that it would be best for someone to stay with the pirate at all times until he was a little more stable. Fran, of course, took the first shift. Vaan was a little nervous when it was his turn to sit with Balthier, and he almost asked Penelo to go for him. But that wouldn't have been fair, so he knocked gently on the pirate's bedroom door. It was Basch who answered, glad his shift was over, and let Vaan into the room, "Try to be patient with him, Vaan, it won't be easy," he said casting a quick glance back at Balthier, who was sitting on his bed staring at them both with uneasy eyes. Vaan nodded and closed the door behind the captain; he walked over and sat beside the older man, unsure of exactly what he was supposed to do. Balthier was dressed like his old self again, and except for that scared and timid look in his eyes he looked like the old Balthier again. "How are you feeling," asked Vaan, unsure of what else to say. Balthier looked up at him shyly and shrugged, "Your Vaan?" he asked quietly. Vaan nodded, "You remember?" The older man shook his head, "No…the other man mentioned you were coming next to sit with me." This made Vaan a little sad, "His name is Basch." The pirate nodded, "Right…Basch…" "Were we friends?" he asked the boy suddenly, "You and me I mean." "Sure Balthier, we still are. I mean…you not remembering stuff don't change that." Balthier nodded at this, "I wish I could remember, it seems like maybe…never mind." "What?" asked Vaan, honestly interested in what Balthier had to say, "You remember something about us?" "It's just a feeling I get when I look at you," said the older man, "A different feeling than I get when I see the others." The boy didn't know what to say to this, and so he put his hand on the pirate's shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. "Why in hell do I have to wear this damn vest," asked the pirate suddenly, "It's incredibly uncomfortable." Vaan couldn't help but laugh at this, "I don't know, it's just what you always wear. You're kinda vain like that." He smiled at the other man, letting him know that it was all in good fun. Balthier began to smile too, and finally laugh.

Weeks passed, and although Balthier could still clean and fire a gun as he had before, still read and write, and he could fly the Strahl as if nothing had ever happened, he still didn't remember who he was. Oh he knew now that he was Balthier, the sky pirate, and that Fran was his partner and that he was on a quest to help Ashe regain her throne. But he only knew this because the others had told him it was true, he couldn't recall for himself anything that had happened before he woke up that night on the Strahl. It worried him a little, but he was no longer afraid of the others, and he was happy. The others couldn't believe the change in Balthier, and it was hard for them to get used to him being so kind and generous to all of them. He was never sarcastic or rude anymore, and he had eventually discarded his usual gold and black vest all together in favor of just his white shirt which he rarely buttoned more than halfway. He wanted to be comfortable. Vaan spent more and more time with the pirate, who was more than happy to show the boy all the things about the Strahl that he'd never been willing to before. They spent endless hours pouring over the engines and sitting in the cockpit going over how to fly through different types of weather and things.

It was a Wednesday evening and it was raining outside. Everyone was in their rooms except Vaan and Balthier, who were in the cockpit, sharing a bottle of Madhu. "Do you think you'll ever remember anything…from before?" asked Vaan taking a sip from the bottle. "I'm not so sure I want to. I mean I can still function this way so I don't see where it matters," said Balthier as he took the bottle from the boy. Vaan was surprised, "You don't _want_ to remember?" he asked. The older man shook his head, "From the bits and pieces I've heard about my past, Vaan…from what I've seen…I just…I don't want to know anymore." "You mean the scars," the boy asked, "Are they why you don't want to know?" "Partly," said Balthier nodding his head, "but also because I must have not been a very honest man before my little injury." "Why do you say that?" asked Vaan, eyeing the pirate intensely. Balthier sighed and looked the boy in the eyes. He smirked, and for a moment Vaan thought he looked like his old self again. "Because apparently I never told you that I love you," he said, reaching over to stroke the boy's cheek lightly. "Apparently, I never held you and told you how beautiful you are, and I must have felt it then because I knew it that first night…before I even knew your name." Vaan couldn't say anything, he could only lift his own hand up to touch the pirate's fingers on his face, "You…you love me?" he asked. Balthier smiled, "Very much, Vaan." He leaned in towards the blonde, gently pulling him closer. Vaan did not pull away as their lips met, and the pirate held his thief close as they kissed. Finally they came up for air, and Vaan looked at Balthier as he gently stroked the older man's hair. "I love you too, Balthier," he told him, "I wish you had told me before. We've wasted so much time."

_To be continued…_

**Hope you guys enjoyed! Chapter 3 will come soon. Review please! Should Balthier get his memory back or not? What do you guys think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, this is Chapter three of Who Are You? And Who Am I? I hope you are enjoying it. This chapter is rated M because I'm not sure yet what it will contain, there is always a possibility for some adult content, and there will be cursing. Still a Bal/Vaan pairing. Reviews are appreciated! Thanks!**

**Who Are You, And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 3**

Had Balthier been himself he would have known exactly why he had never admitted his feelings to Vaan, or anyone else for that matter. The others knew this to be true of course, and so they were rightly shocked when the pirate told the boy he loved him at the breakfast table the next morning. He hadn't said it quietly, and did not seem the least bit interested in hiding the fact, and as soon as the words left his lips the kitchen came to a complete standstill. Even Fran, who of course had known of the brunette's feelings for the boy was as shocked as any Viera could be. Even Vaan was a bit shocked at the pirate's public announcement. Sure he and Balthier had fucked like rabbits the night before, and as happy as he was to know that the older man was indeed in love with him, he hadn't expected Balthier to so blatantly tell everyone. The only person who seemed perfectly at ease at that moment was the pirate himself.

It was sometime later in the day when Fran got a chance to speak to Balthier alone. "That was a foolish thing for you to do," she said in as much of an angry voice as she had as she burst into the pirate's room without knocking. Balthier looked up from the book he was reading, a genuinely confused look on his face, "What was foolish?" he asked. Fran sighed, "You told the boy of your feelings for him, we have spoken on this matter Balthier. It was not wise." "And why not?" asked the pirate tossing the book aside, "I love him, why is that a problem?" Fran was growing impatient, "You have forgotten who you are, Balthier. This will not work. You gave me your word you would not cross that boundary." "Well I don't remember _giving_ my word, Fran!" exclaimed the pirate, " I don't remember having any conversations with anyone concerning myself and the boy, hell I don't even remember you or the boy before that first night here on the Strahl!" Fran sighed and sat down next to the pirate, "It is time I told you who you really are Balthier, before you have a chance to hurt the boy anymore." The sympathetic look she was giving him unnerved him, "You already told me who I am…I'm Balthier, the sky pirate." Fran shook her head, "What I am about to tell you, only I know. You did not wish the others to know your past." Balthier swallowed the lump that rose in his throat. "Your real name," Fran began, "is Ffamran."

The story got worse as it went on. Balthier fought back the tears that gathered in the corners of his eyes as the Viera took everything the man thought he was and smashed it into pieces. He was not just a dashing sky pirate who could fall in love with Vaan and live happily ever after; he was a runaway judge whose insane father was none other than Dr. Cidolfus Bunansa…whom Vaan, as well as everyone else on the ship hated. And when Vaan found out who he was…he would hate him. Fran explained how months before she had realized his feelings for the boy, and how the pirate had gone to great lengths to keep away from him. And now he gone and messed it all up. He'd put himself through months of hell, Fran said, all for nothing. "It's not true," Balthier attempted to reassure himself out loud, "You're making it up." "You have the scars to prove it, Balthier," she said gently, "Did you not wonder where they came from? They came from your father." "Stop it!" shouted the brunette, "I don't want to hear it anymore!" Fran rose to leave, "I am sorry to have had to tell you these things Balthier," she said, "but you cannot hide the truth from the others once we reach Archades. You knew that…before."

The severity of his situation slowly crept up on him, and Balthier, not being his old self at all, lay on his bed and sobbed.

Vaan knew that Balthier must have remembered something, because he was being distant, like he used to be. They were fighting their way through Giza, and of course it was raining. Vaan slipped and hit the ground face first and a strong arm lifted him from the mud, it saddened him to see that it was Basch who had come to his aid, not Balthier. In fact, Balthier had not come to the boy's aid all day. He hadn't even so much as flinched when the boy had been KO'd three times already. This was getting ridiculous; he was going to find out what was going on…and now. "Hey Balthier!," he called out, causing the pirate to stop and turn around. He motioned for the pirate to come closer to him. He started in on the older man almost immediately when he got close enough, "What the hell is your problem?" Balthier rolled his eyes at this and turned to leave without giving Vaan an answer. Vaan's arm shot out to grab the pirate's wrist, but the ground was so slick and he'd moved too fast. He lost his footing and started to tumble into the stream that bubbled beside them. Without an ounce of hesitation, Balthier grabbed the boy and pushed him back towards the land, sending himself crashing into the shallow stream…his head bouncing off every rock on the way down.

It only took him a few moments for his vision to clear, and he saw his five comrades standing over him. "I do hate this fucking rain," he muttered, "Just look at the state of my cuffs!" Basch looked at Ashe, Ashe looked at Fran, and Fran stared open mouthed at the glaring pirate that lay before them. Vaan and Penelo did not realize what the others had quite yet…Balthier was back.

_To be continued…_

**Will Balthier be willing to carry on a relationship with Vaan now that his memory has returned? Find out in Chapter 4, coming soon! Review please! Hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Once again I don't own em' I just write about em'. May be the last chapter, may not be.**

**Who Are You, And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 4**

"Well?" questioned the pirate, "What the hell are you all staring at? You're enjoying this greatly I presume." The others attempted to stop staring, "We should head back to the ship," said Basch, extending a hand out to help Balthier out of the stream. The brunette glared at him, but took his hand anyway. What was happening had slowly sunk in with Vaan, and he wasn't surprised when Balthier pushed past him without a word. Basch started to speak, he started to say something about the pirate and the boy, but Vaan stopped him. "It's ok, Basch," he said sadly, "You don't have to say anything." They returned to the Strahl in silence.

Balthier went straight to his room, irritated by the state of his clothes and by the soreness that was slowly creeping over his entire body. After a quick shower, he lay on his bed, trying to ignore the headache that was pounding at the base of his skull. Attempting to get more comfortable, he moved over to straighten his pillow, and something fell to the floor. He picked it up and examined it. It was only a small ring from one of the Strahl's engines, but it was hung on a string like a necklace. Balthier stared at the small piece of makeshift jewelry for a few moments, unable to understand why it was making him feel so…well he really didn't know what it made him feel. He only knew that it created a strange feeling deep in the pit of his stomach…and then it hit him…Vaan.

"_I can't believe you're going let me help with this Balthier!" said Vaan excitedly as he ran ahead of the pirate. "Calm down, Vaan," laughed the pirate, "It's just a little engine repair, nothing big." They were headed; just the two of them, to work on the Strahl's engines and Balthier had agreed to let the boy help. The boy slowed his pace to allow the older man to catch up to him. The pirate put his arm around the boy and kissed him gently on his temple. It made him happy to see Vaan so excited over something he'd done for him. _

Memories were flooding back to Balthier…

"_Here," said the brunette, "Something to remember your first airship repair by." Vaan smiled and kissed the older man, letting him put the makeshift necklace around his neck. "I love you, Vaan," Balthier told the boy, "I'll never let you go."_

Balthier let the necklace fall from his hands. Gods what had he done…

Vaan had told himself he wouldn't cry. He had known that there was a possibility that once Balthier remembered who he was that he wouldn't want him anymore. He just hadn't expected it to happen so soon… so suddenly. He had thought that Balthier's memories would come back slowly, not all in a matter of seconds. Ever since he'd opened his eyes Balthier hadn't been anything but his same old self, and that included treating Vaan like shit or ignoring him altogether. He reached for his necklace; the one Balthier had made for him. _I guess it's all I have to remember him by,_ he thought. But the necklace was gone. Panic rose within him, jumping up, he began to tear the room apart. "Looking for this?" asked Balthier, who had entered the room without Vaan's noticing. He held out the necklace to the boy, who snatched it eagerly. They stared at each other a moment, and neither of them said anything. "I suppose we need to talk," said the pirate, moving past the boy to sit on the bed. He motioned for Vaan to sit beside him. "You don't have to say anything, Thier," started the boy. The pirate was a little taken aback, "Thier?" he asked. "Sorry," Vaan snorted, "Old habits die hard." "I don't mind it," the older man said quickly, "I had just…forgotten." "Seems to be a recurring thing with you these days," said the boy angrily. Balthier sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "What do you want me to say Vaan? That I'm sorry? That even not knowing who I was I shouldn't have ever told you?" Vaan was pacing angrily by this point, "What do I want you to say? I want you to say that you love me and that just because you suddenly remember that treating people like shit and hiding your feelings is kinda your thing doesn't change that! That's what I want you to say Balthier!" The tears that ran down the boy's cheeks made the pirate's heart ache, gods he did love that boy more than anything, which was why he was going to have to do what he thought was best for him. "I can't," he whispered to the boy as he stood to go, "I'm sorry, Vaan." "So I guess you're just gonna add this whole thing to your own private collection of scars huh," said the boy, causing the pirate to stop in his tracks. Balthier didn't dare turn around, he couldn't look at the boy…he just couldn't look into those beautiful blue eyes and see all the pain that he put there. "Tell me you don't love me, Balthier," said Vaan, the shaky quality of his voice ripping out the pirate's heart, "Tell me you never did, that it was all a lie. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me…then I'll let it go at that." Balthier finally found the courage to face the boy, for some reason he was embarrassed of the tears that were now spilling freely down his cheeks. For a split second he thought of telling the boy everything, but wouldn't that only make things worse? No, it couldn't get any worse than seeing his beloved thief so shattered. "I do love you, Vaan," he said, not daring to inch closer to the boy, "More than I've ever loved anything or anyone, that's why I have to let you go." And with that statement he turned and left the room. He was already entering the main room of the Strahl when Vaan caught up to him. "That's not fair Balthier!" he shouted, uncaring that Ashe, Basch, and Penelo were sitting there staring at the two of them. "You're just a kid, Vaan! What the hell do you know about love anyway? Do you actually love me or just the idea of me? And if you do love me then I have a hard time believing you would if I weren't a fucking sky pirate!" screamed Balthier. Silence hung heavy in the room for several moments before Vaan spoke, "I'd love you whether you were a fucking sky pirate or not Balthier," he said quietly, "I'd love you no matter who you were." "Well that's fucking big of you Vaan, but you may change your mind once you find out the truth," Balthier snorted. "What truth?" asked the boy, narrowing his eyes, "What are you talking about Balthier?" "Well for starters Balthier isn't my real name," said the sky pirate, turning away from the boy just in time to see the shocked faces of the others, "My real name is Ffamran. Ffamran Mid Bunansa…and Dr. Cid is my father." Ignoring the gasps of shock that erupted from the others he turned to face the boy again, unsure of what reaction to expect from him. "Well Vaan?" he asked, once again trying his best not to let his voice quiver, "Still love me no matter what?"

_To be continued…._

**Well guys? Will Vaan accept Balthier for who he really is? Or will he let him walk out of his life forever? Review and let me know! Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**And we're back. Welcome to Chapter 5 of Who Are You, And Who Am I. I promise I'll give Balthier and Vaan some steamy scenes since they haven't gotten much so far. THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M. Please review! Probably not the last chapter, so if you want to see something specific let me know! Also I don't own FFXII or its characters and if I did we wouldn't have to write our own love stories for these two because that's all the game would be.**

**Who Are You, And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 5**

No one said anything. Balthier's chocolate eyes were locked with Vaan's blue ones, both were fighting back tears, oblivious to the fact that the others were still in the room. Penelo sat silently staring while Ashe sat perched on the edge of her seat, her hands over her mouth. Basch hadn't moved, but was staring open mouthed at the pirate's back, unable to believe what he was hearing. Taking the boy's silence as a no, the pirate walked past him down the hall, the sound of a slamming door telling the others that he had reached his room. Vaan stood motionless for a moment, unable to comprehend exactly what his lover had said. Finally, without a word to the others, he followed the pirate to his room. He found Balthier sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. "Yes," said Vaan, making the pirate lift his head, "Yes what?" asked Balthier. "Yes I still love you no matter what. You should have told me though…before now I mean," said the boy, walking over and kneeling in front of the older man. Balthier's reaction was not what Vaan would have expected and he was a little shocked when the brunette burst into tears. The concern obvious in his voice, the teen attempted to sooth him, "Hey, what…what's wrong…I…I thought…I thought you'd be happy," he said. "I am happy Vaan," Balthier cooed as he kissed the boy's forehead, "You have no idea how happy. I just…I thought you'd hate me." "I could never hate you Balthier," said the boy, stroking the older man's cheek, "Don't get me wrong, I'm really pissed right now and I probably won't forgive you for a really long time but…it's not your fault Balthier…I mean…you can't choose who your born to." The pirate nodded slowly, wiping his tears with the back of his jeweled hand, "I love you Vaan," he said between sniffs, "Gods this is so fucked up! The leading man is NOT supposed to fall in love in the first place, and if he does it is not supposed to be with an orphan boy." Vaan smiled, "I think it's kinda romantic." Balthier couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled the boy into his lap. Their lips met in a fiery kiss, and clothes were nearly ripped as they struggled to get closer to one another. "So now I get to see what the great sky pirate Balthier is like in bed when he knows who he is," chuckled Vaan, "I bet you're a bit rougher normally than you were before." "We've…we've had…sex?" stammered the pirate. Vaan laughed, "Oh yes lover, many times." The boy kissed his pirate again, and Balthier guided the boy down onto the bed. He made quick work of removing any remaining clothing, and finally there was nothing between the boy's skin and his. "You're sure?" panted Balthier, eyeing the boy warily. The boy bucked against him, "Balthier we've done this a million times. I'm sure." Without any more warning the brunette rammed into him, and Vaan yelped in both pain and surprise. As Vaan had suspected, Balthier's lovemaking was different now that he was himself again. He was rougher than he had been before, and he made every move with confidence. He rammed harder when he heard the boy moan his name, and as they hit their mutual climax he bit down on the boy's shoulder so hard that he could taste the boy's blood on his tongue.

"Sounds like they made up," said Basch to the others as they heard Vaan scream Balthier's name. This comment earned him a menacing glare from Penelo and a giggle from Ashe. "It would appear that way," said Fran, who had come into the room unnoticed, "However, our focus should be directed elsewhere now. We have a problem." "And what is that my dear Fran," said Balthier as he walked into the room behind her, adjusting his vest and not attempting to hide what he and Vaan had just been up to. "Where's Vaan?" asked Penelo. "He's getting dressed," said the pirate without looking up from straightening his cuffs. Penelo's face turned red, and she looked down at the floor, sorry she'd asked. "Something is wrong with the ship," Fran said, breaking the awkward silence. Balthier sighed and ran a hand through his spiky hair, "Will we ever have any peace on this damn quest?" he asked, more to himself than anyone, "Alright let's go have a look." They left the others and headed toward the cockpit. "I take it you told the boy everything?" Fran asked, already knowing the answer. "I did," said the pirate, his smile evident in his voice. "And?" asked the Viera. "And what?" he asked as he fell into the pilots chair and began scanning the controls. "And he took it well I presume, from your attitude," she said crossing her arms, "What are you going to do once we reach Archades?" "Well," sighed the pirate, "The first thing I've got to do is kill my father."

_To be continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed! Review and let me know what you want to happen! Also if you've got a situation with these two you want to see written out let me know and I'll see what I can do! More to come! Thanks guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok so I left this fic hanging like months ago, and never really planned to update it, but I've gotten several requests to keep it going so here we go! I hope it flows well, since I haven't thought about this one in a long time. Review and let me know what you think! And sorry that the first few chapters are all smashed together; hopefully that won't happen this time. Oh and this was one of my first fics so I'm sure you can tell a difference in my writing style and I hope it's improved.**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 6**

"Fucking hell!"

The curse resounded throughout the bowels of the Strahl, letting everyone know that Balthier's latest attempt at fixing whatever was wrong with the ship had not worked. Not five minutes went by before the agitated pirate came stomping into the main room, covered in soot and engine grease.

"I take it we aren't leaving any time soon," grumbled Basch, not bothering to look up from the book he was reading.

Balthier stopped in his tracks and glared at him, "No, _captain_. Not quite yet," he snarled. "I'm fine by the way," he added, holding up a ringed hand that was covered in blood, "Don't worry about me!"

Basch raised an eyebrow in the pirate's direction, "_Are _you alright? Do you want me to heal that for you?"

"I am perfectly able to heal it myself," he snapped, but he sat down beside Basch anyway, letting him take a look at the wound.

"You've seemed on edge lately."

Balthier sighed, "So much has happened lately. I…I…just…it's a lot to cope with."

Basch nodded in understanding, "Your head though…you haven't been getting any strange headaches or anything have you? I mean, we don't know the extent of the damage that was caused. You HAVE to tell someone if something feels off."

Balthier ignored his prying questions, "Just heal my damn hand if you're going to."

Basch shook his head and cast a quick healing spell, "You have people here who want to help you Balthier, don't suffer needlessly."

Balthier ignored him once again as he walked away, grumbling under his breath.

The truth was he _had_ been getting headaches, horrible, crippling headaches. In fact, Balthier knew they weren't just normal headaches…no…something was wrong. He knew he should have been honest when Basch had asked him, but he didn't want Vaan worried. Besides, he didn't need Basch to look after him. He didn't need anyone to look after him. He had too many things on his mind right now, and he didn't have time to worry about headaches.

He had no real plan for what he would do once they reached Archades. He knew that he had to confront his father, and most likely kill him. He knew, knew all too well, that if his father ever found out about Vaan and the way he felt about him, there was no way he would let him live. The man was just cruel; he would never let him be happy if he could do anything to stop it. He had proved it time and time again.

Balthier squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ward of the creeping memory that had once made him swear he would never fall in love again. Not after last time….

_The way his father ran things had never seemed particularly strange to Ffamran. He hadn't grown up around a lot of other children, and he had nothing to compare with, so he was surprised when Seraph had gotten so angry at seeing the bruises his father had left on him. He'd met Seraph when he was sixteen, and right from the start he'd been in love. Seraph had been a year older than him, and as his name suggested, he looked like an angel. In a lot of ways, he had been one. He was the first person to ever tell him that he loved him, the first person to ever care about what he'd wanted. The first time he saw bruises on him he was angry, the second time he was furious, and the third time he confronted Cid. Balthier could never prove that his father was responsible, but he knew from the cruel smile that had twisted Cid's lips that he had been. So when they fished Seraph's body out of the river two days later, he left his father's house and never went back._

Balthier had purposely hidden his feelings from Vaan when he first realized them, but now it was too late. If he didn't go after his father now, he knew that sooner or later, his father would come after Vaan. He was not about to let him have happiness. And Balthier was not about to let anything happen to Vaan. He fought off the headache that blossomed at the base of his skull and gathered his tools. The sooner he got the Strahl running again, the sooner this would all be over.

_To Be Continued…_

**Ok, well that didn't come out the way I wanted, but honestly I kinda lost the thought process for this one cause it's been so long. Hope you enjoyed and please review if you want to see more.**


	7. Chapter 7

**And…we're…back…Welcome my freaky little darlings…welcome. This fic should probably be rated M instead of T, which I thought it was…but oh well. You are warned, cursing, malexmale sex, and general fanfiction smut. Please enjoy and please review.**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 7**

It started as an ache. A dull, slow, ache right at the base of his skull that slowly but surely traveled up to his temples. By the time the pain blossomed behind his eyes it was no longer dull and throbbing but sharp and hot, like a red hot poker being slowly crammed into his brain. He wondered if the others could see it, his distress, as he attempted to force himself to keep a blank face. He had barely touched his plate, which was filled with some type of stringy meat and dry vegetables. He dare not attempt to take a bite for fear of vomiting all over himself right there at the table. He _was_ the leading man after all, and leading men do not throw up.

"Balthier! Did you hear what I said?"

Ashe's voice shot through his skull like a knife, and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to wince in pain, "Sorry…What did you say?"

The princess frowned in his direction, "I asked you how much longer you think we'll be here."

He put a ringed finger to his temple and sighed, "I've no idea princess, but I assure you Fran and I are doing everything possible to get us off the ground."

Ashe merely looked at him for a moment before continuing her dinner.

"If you'll excuse me," he said, rising from the table and straitening his cuffs, "I have a few things to attend to."

He left the table, and his full plate, and began to make his way as fast as he could to his room which was starting to seem like the only place he could get any privacy. He stripped off his vest and shirt and let himself fall onto his bed, his arm draped over his eyes to block out the light. The pain wouldn't let him sleep, but at least now he didn't have to keep up the appearance of being fine. At least here, he could be alone.

"Balthier?"

So much for being alone.

Balthier moved his arm and opened his eyes. The smile that crossed his lips was not forced, but a genuine smirk of happiness. Vaan always made him happy.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked the boy as he gently pulled him into the bed with him.

"You didn't eat your dinner."

Balthier sighed, "I wasn't hungry. And you didn't answer my question."

"I wanted to spend some time with you."

Balthier smiled, but a sharp pain in his head cut it short. Unfortunately, Vaan noticed.

"What's wrong?" Balthier wasn't sure whether he should be flattered or aggravated by the tone of panic in the boy's voice.

"Nothing. Just tired," he muttered. One look at Vaan and he knew the boy knew he was lying.

"Don't lie to me Balthier," he warned, his face as serious as Balthier had ever seen it, "Don't ever lie to me."

The pirate sighed, "It's just a little headache Vaan. Nothing to panic about, people have headaches all the time."

Something in the boy's eyes changed, "Is this the first one?"

"What?"

"Headache."

Balthier's lips pressed into a thin line of defiance, and he said nothing.

"I thought not," said Vaan as he rose from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To get the others. Fran said something might have healed wrong in your brain, that we didn't have any way of knowing the extent of the damage. YOU were SUPPOSED to tell us if any weird symptoms started popping up."

"Vaan, it's nothing…really," Balthier pleaded.

"I love you too much to ignore this Balthier. Something could be really wrong."

Balthier sat before the five disapproving faces of his comrades, every one of them looking at him like a mother who had just caught their child drawing on the wall, as Vaan spilled his little secret to the others.

"Did I not ask you about this yesterday?" asked Basch, his arms folded across his chest in a disturbingly paternal way.

Balthier simply nodded. There was no getting out of this line of questioning.

Basch sighed, "And the point of lying to me was what?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal," the pirate grumbled, "I _still don't _think it's a big deal."

"Goddamnit Balthier!" snapped Basch, "It might very well be a huge deal! We don't know what may be going on."

"It's not like there's anything you can do about it," said Balthier, meeting Basch's angry stare with one of his own.

No one said anything. They knew he was right.

"I have a ship to fix," Balthier snapped, "So I suppose if any of you suddenly become brain surgeons you'll just have to come find me to make your diagnosis."

He walked away quickly, his head still pounding.

"Balthier, wait!"

Balthier barely slowed his pace, but reached a ringed hand back and caught Vaan's hand with his own. They made their way to the engine room, hand in hand, and Vaan didn't say anything else until Balthier stopped to start his work.

Vaan watched him a moment, unsure of what to say. He could tell Balthier was angry by the way he focused silently on his work, ignoring the fact that Vaan was even there. He had thrown on his white shirt before following Vaan out of his room earlier, but had never made it as far as to button it or put on his vest, and Vaan knew that he would never have overlooked such a thing had he not been furious.

"I know you're mad at me, but I did what I did for your own good," he said, hoping that Balthier wasn't as mad as he looked.

Balthier didn't say anything, only kept his eyes straight ahead on his work.

"Balthier…I just want to make sure you're ok. If..if I lost you…" his voice trailed off and he turned to leave.

Balthier squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, "I'm sorry Vaan. I know…just…go to bed. I'll be in there in a bit ok."

Vaan smiled half-heartedly and nodded before walking away.

Balthier hated it when he hurt Vaan, but he had too much on his mind right now to worry about it. He knew Vaan was only afraid of losing him…but if he didn't get to his father before his father found out about Vaan…it would be him who lost the man he loved.

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you enjoyed. Please review if you did! **


	8. Chapter 8

**So glad I decided not to abandon this fic. Hope you are enjoying it, and please review so that I know someone out there is still reading.**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 8**

Balthier couldn't sleep. He was exhausted, but as he laid there in bed, his arms wrapped protectively around Vaan, he was plagued by horrible fears. The Strahl was finally fixed, and by morning they would be well on their way to Archades. He wished he could just abandon it all, take Vaan and his ship and just keep running until Cid could never find them. But he knew he'd spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder if he did that. He buried his head in the back of Vaan's neck, trying to ward off the images of Seraph's limp corpse being pulled from the river. It had taken him years to get over his death, but now when he thought of Seraph he only felt fear…fear that the same fate would befall Vaan. Instinctively he tightened his grip.

"What's wrong?" Vaan sounded sleepy, but concerned as he turned around to face his lover.

"Just thinking."

"Does your head hurt?"

Balthier smiled, "It's fine right now."

Vaan gave him a hard look.

"I promise," chuckled Balthier, "I've learned my lesson. I won't lie to you about it again."

"Then what's bothering you?"

The smile faded from his lips, "I just wish we didn't have to go to Archades."

"Then let's not go. No one's making you confront your father Balthier. Let's just forget about that old bastard."

Balthier didn't say anything for a moment, but lay there stroking the boy's cheek.

"We _do_ have to go there," he said finally, "Well, I do. I…I think maybe it would be better if you stayed behind. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Vaan's expression hardened, "Oh, no! You're not going anywhere without me, but why do you have to go? What's so important about going back there?"

Balthier sighed, "If I tell you…you have to promise you won't get mad."

A smirk crossed the boy's lips, "I promise. You know you can tell me anything."

Balthier sighed; he hadn't ever told anyone about what had happened, not even Fran. He knew he wouldn't be too happy to hear about one of Vaan's exes, even one who was dead. So he didn't know what Vaan's reaction would be, but he at least needed to know the danger he was in.

"When I was fifteen," he began, looking away from Vaan and staring up at the ceiling, "I used to love going to the theater. My father would often take me there, and we would sit high up in his private box as the actors below performed the most amazing plays and ballets. It was just after my sixteenth birthday when we went to see the most beautiful ballet I think I've ever seen. The story was typical and not very good, you know young love and tragedy, but the dancers had such grace! One in particular I could not take my eyes off of. He was young, not much older than I, and he danced with such grace he looked as if he were weightless. Floating almost. His name was Seraph d' Astrae, and I think I fell in love with him before the first act had even ended."

He dared a glance at Vaan, who didn't seem angry, only confused.

"Are you ok with hearing this?"

"I'm the only person you love right?" asked Vaan, and the twinges of panic in his voice made Balthier feel bad.

He pulled the boy in close and kissed him, "Yes Vaan, you are the only person I love. All of this happened a very long time ago, and ended a very long time ago."

Vaan nodded, and Balthier continued, "I made a point to speak to him after his performance and we became fast friends, and later lovers. My father's madness had already begun, and he had become violent towards both myself and the others in the house. Seraph warned me that he would not allow him to carry on hurting me, and finally, said that if he so much as saw one little bruise on me that he was going to confront Cid."

Balthier sighed and laid there silently for a moment before continuing, "Not a week went by before I snuck out to meet him again. I had tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the bruises on my face but they were too dark and too many. He confronted Cid in a blind rage, and I'm not sure which angered my father more, the knowledge of our love or the fact that Seraph dared speak to him in such a manner. He swore to my father that he would take me away, that very night in fact, and he told me to go upstairs and pack, that he would come get me in an hour."

Balthier once again paused, and Vaan knew that whatever had happened next was still hard for the pirate to talk about. He put his hand on Balthier's and gave it a little squeeze of encouragement.

"I waited and waited," Balthier finally continued, "but he never came. At first I thought he'd changed his mind, but…his body was found in the river two days later. I couldn't ever prove it, but I know Cid killed him. He told me that if I ever dared bring another like Seraph into my life that they would suffer the same fate."

Vaan didn't know what to say, "I'm so sorry Balthier…I…I had no idea…"

Balthier buried his head into Vaan's chest, "That's why I have to get to him before he gets to us, Vaan. I won't lose you."

"You won't Balthier. I promise," said Vaan, "Go to sleep, we'll straighten this out together."

Balthier laid there, snuggled in Vaan's arms, for a long time before he finally fell asleep. But horrible dreams plagued him, and he awoke in the predawn hours to a screaming headache that he was sure would be the death of him.

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you are enjoying! Please let me know if you are!**


	9. Chapter 9

**And…we're…back. Hope your enjoying because I'm enjoying writing this one. Let me know! Oh…and I know the first few chapters of this fic are smashed together, but right now I really don't have time to go back and separate it out.**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 9**

When Basch opened his eyes he couldn't see anything in the darkness. He lay there on his back for some time, letting his eyes adjust. He wasn't tired and he was beginning to get a little restless as he lay there in his room aboard the Strahl. He flipped over onto his stomach and buried his head into his pillow, willing himself to go back to sleep. Minutes ticked by, and finally he gave up and left his room with no particular destination in mind. His room was across the hall from the larger room that Balthier and Vaan shared, and he saw as he passed their open door that Balthier was not in his usual spot beside Vaan.

Glad that someone else was awake, he made his way to the cockpit. As he'd expected, a faint light shone out from under the door to the cockpit, and he knocked gently before entering. Balthier was sitting in the pilot's chair, one foot propped up on the Strahl's control panel, and his head resting in one hand. His usual vest was nowhere to be seen, his white shirt was wrinkled and unbuttoned, and Basch could see the vast number of white scars that covered his chest and stomach. It surprised him to see the usually perfectly dressed Balthier so disheveled, but since he hadn't bothered to throw on a shirt at all when he'd left his room he didn't comment on the pirate's appearance.

"You're up late," he said as he slid into the co-pilot's chair, "Can't sleep?"

Balthier looked over at him for the first time since he'd entered, "Just a few problems I need to take care of."

"Anything that concerns the rest of us?"

"Well," said Balthier, letting his head lean back as far as he could, "I have a splitting headache which I can't seem to get rid of for anything. I'm headed straight for a city I don't want to go to, to see a man I wish I never had to see again as long as I live, and oh…we're being followed."

"What?" Basch was now sitting straight up, starring at Balthier in shock, "We're being followed? By who? Why didn't you wake us?"

Balthier sighed, "Yes, we're being followed. We have been since yesterday. It's one of my father's airships, though I doubt he'd find this matter important enough to be on it himself. And I didn't wake you because I didn't think it mattered."

Basch didn't attempt to hide his surprise at the pirate's words, "You…didn't think it _mattered?_"

"No."

"_Why_ exactly is he following us?"

"It's really a long story," muttered Balthier as he began fiddling with random controls in an attempt to keep from making eye contact with Basch.

"I've got all night," said Basch coolly, crossing his arms.

Balthier looked at him a moment before speaking, "Fine. If you must know my father has made it very much his business since I left his house to keep tabs on me. When you have as much money and social pull as he does it isn't hard either. He always knows exactly what I'm up to, but until now it didn't matter."

"But why does he want you? I mean, after all these years why does he still insist on keeping up with what you do?"

"He doesn't want me," said Balthier, his voice taking on a somber tone, "He wants Vaan."

Basch was taken aback, "Vaan? What in all Ivalice would Dr. Cid want with Vaan?"

"He wants to kill him."

"Balthier I think you've lost your mind," said Basch, "I mean it just doesn't make any sense."

"Listen Captain, I don't really want to have to go into detail but trust me, Cid already knows about Vaan, he always knows what's going on in my life. And he'll kill him if he gets the chance, that's why we have to get to him first."

Basch shook his head, "I think you're under too much stress Balthier. You need rest, these headaches you've been having worry me. Land the ship and get some sleep."

"We need to keep going."

"Land the ship, Balthier, we are NOT being followed."

Balthier shook his head.

"Fine," said Basch, "At least let Fran take over for a while. Please, Balthier. You need some rest."

Balthier regarded him warily, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let Fran take over for just a little while, my head _does_ feel like it's about to explode."

"I'll wake her for you," Basch offered, and Balthier nodded and left the cockpit.

Basch waited until he heard the click of the pirate's bedroom door shut and then got up and peered out into the hall.

"Poor man," he muttered, "He's losing it. I knew that head injury would come back to haunt him."

After one more look around he landed the ship, went back to his room, and fell fast asleep.

It was Balthier's screams that awoke him the following morning…

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope you are enjoying, I promise the next chapter will be full of action. Review if you're enjoying!**


	10. Chapter 10

**My freaky little darlings…welcome. Enjoy. Review it…and the updates will come **

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 10**

"I'll kill you for this you son of a bitch!"

Basch didn't attempt to push Balthier off of him, but he kept a tight grip on the other man's arms in an effort to keep him from choking him, "Balthier I said I was sorry."

"Sorry?" the pirate bellowed, "You're sorry? Vaan is gone, probably dead…and you're sorry!"

Basch didn't know what to say, so he opted to stay silent.

Balthier ignored Fran's gentle hands attempting to pry him off the knight. He glared at him, his chocolate eyes so afire with rage that Basch wasn't sure whether he should be in fear for his life or not.

"If he's dead," the pirate whispered, "I WILL kill you." His voice quivered the tiniest bit when he said this, and Basch knew he meant every word of it.

"We have no time for quarrels, Balthier," warned Fran, "If Cidolfus does in fact have Vaan we have little time."

"He won't kill him until I get there. He's too cruel to spare me the spectacle."

No one said anything as Balthier released Basch and stomped away to the cockpit. Fran was right, they were running out of time, and everyone aboard the Strahl knew it.

Balthier's brain was wracked with guilt. _How could I have not heard anything?_ He thought. _How could I have let someone come onto my ship and steal Vaan from my very bed?_ He knew the answers to these questions. All of them had found the tiny pinprick of a sleeping dart in their necks that morning. Someone had entered the ship quietly, rendered them unconscious one by one…and kidnapped Vaan. Balthier's mind automatically went back to Basch's betrayal, if only he had listened to him, if only he hadn't landed the ship! His grip tightened on the Strahl's controls as he attempted to fight down his own rage, but he could not quiet it.

"Losing your temper does not help this matter," said Fran.

Balthier did not acknowledge her presence, but kept his eyes on the sky.

"Your emotional outbursts put all our lives in danger. We need to think this through, have a plan, and not just go storming into Draklor."

"When I need your advice, dear Fran, I'll ask for it."

"I am your partner Balthier," she said coolly, "I will not be spoken to in such a way."

Balthier said nothing, and she knew she had gotten her point across. He hoped that the conversation was over, but she continued to speak, "We _do_ need a plan Balthier. Cid knows you're coming, he'll be prepared. If you want to get Vaan out of there alive you need to forget your anger towards Basch and focus. We _need_ his help to do this."

Balthier sighed, "I don't need his help."

"So you plan to just waltz into Draklor empty handed and demand Vaan back?" she asked, "And you expect to get out of there alive?"

"I'll have a plan by the time we get there."

"We are already vastly outnumbered Balthier," she argued, "We need every fighter we have."

His jaw clenched, and she knew he was struggling to make a decision, "Fine, but if Vaan has as much as one scratch on him when I find him, I cannot promise Basch will live through the night."

Fran nodded, but said nothing.

There was no point in attempting to use the element of surprise. No point in sneaking around through windows and over garden walls. Cid knew they were coming. He was waiting. Balthier spent a few minutes alone in his room aboard the Strahl when they landed; he needed the time to compose himself. The others were not aware of the extent of the danger Vaan was in, they didn't understand. He tried to pull himself together, tried to stop his hands from shaking. He needed to appear calm, collected, unbreakable, when he faced his father. If Cid knew how much he loved Vaan, it would seal the boy's fate. He had to pretend to be what he had been right up until the moment he met Vaan…a sky pirate with no strings, no cares, and most of all no love for anyone but himself. Vaan's life depended on it. He took a deep breath, grabbed two of his favorite guns, and joined the others outside.

They had no trouble entering Draklor. The guards fell back as they entered, no one tried to stop them, and no one rang an alarm. It sickened Balthier to realize that he still knew the way to his father's office by heart, that he could still find his way through the maze of corridors that plagued his dreams and turned them to nightmares. He knew where Cid would be waiting, he knew exactly where. He would be in the same place he'd been the day they'd dragged Seraph's body from the river. He'd have that same cruel, twisted smile on his face. His stomach churned as he approached the door. How many times had he walked down this hall, gone through this door? Nothing good had _ever_ happened to him behind that door, but he did not hesitate to push it open.

"I expected you sooner." As Balthier had guessed, Cid had not lost his cruel smile.

He shrugged, attempting to give the impression that Vaan's life was not at the top of his list of priorities, "I'm a busy man."

Cid's smile widened, he was no fool, and he knew Balthier too well, "No matter. I am sorry you missed so much of the fun though."

Balthier tried not to let his panic show, "Fun?"

"Oh yes," said Cid, "You see this was all really about getting the princess here. You were just an added bonus."

"This is about Ashe?"

Cid laughed, "You didn't think this was all about you did you? Dear boy, you do have an ego don't you!"

"Then you have no reason to keep Vaan, just let him go you're not gaining anything by keeping him," Balthier argued, and he hoped he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

"You don't think I'd give up my bargaining chip that easily do you?"

"You're a coward Cid," Balthier spat, "Probably hired some dirty thief to sneak aboard my ship and kidnap an innocent boy."

"Not a dirty thief Ffamran…me."

Balthier froze at the hauntingly familiar voice. He turned around slowly, unable to believe his ears. His knees felt weak and it took every bit of control he had not to scream.

"You…you're dead…I saw your body…he killed you," he stammered.

Seraph laughed, "You always were naïve Ffamran."

_To Be Continued…_

**Hope your enjoying. Stay tuned to see what happens next!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, I finally finished "Every Time I Search", which I really didn't like by the end there, but oh well, so I thought I'd sneak in another chapter to this one, which I am enjoying writing quite a bit. I hope you are enjoying it as well.**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 11**

Balthier forced down the bile that rose in his throat, "I saw your body. You're dead."

"A relatively simple spell," chuckled Seraph, "Appearing dead is no difficult task Ffamran."

Balthier starred at him blankly, "Why?...why would you…"

Seraph took his place beside Cid, "I had every intention of coming for you that night Ffamran," his face became sad, "I really did…but your father made me an offer that was just too hard to refuse."

"An offer…to abandon me?"

"Oh, come on Ffamran, no one could refuse that kind of money."

"Money!" Balthier's eyes widened as he yelled, "You abandoned me, let me think you were dead…for money!"

"Don't act so high and mighty," spat Seraph, "You'd have done the same thing."

Balthier shook his head sadly, "I loved you, Seraph," he whispered, "I had to watch them pull you from the river…do you have any idea what that did to me! You lied to me Seraph, you told me you loved me and you were just using me."

"I never lied to you Ffamran…"

"Enough!" growled Cid, "You two disgust me. We have no time for these petty squabbles. Now, I'm offering you a trade, the boy for the princess."

It was Basch who stepped forward, "Give us the boy Cid, there will be no trade, we've no intention of leaving here without him and the princess both."

"You're not in the position to negotiate Captain. You'll give us the princess or the boy dies."

"It's alright Basch," offered Ashe, "I will not let the boy die to spare myself. Bring in the boy," she told Cid, "You had best hope, for your sake, that he is unharmed."

"I won't let you do this your highness," said Basch, "We cannot give him what he wants."

"Basch is right," said Balthier, "We're all walking out of here together." He drew one of the pistols from his back, and fired.

The room erupted into chaos.

Cid was merely winged by Balthier's shot, but it had accomplished what it had been meant to do…buy them time and distract Cid and Seraph.

"Go and find Vaan," he told Fran as a hoard of guards poured into the room, "Take Penelo with you, get him and get out of here. We'll meet you back at the Strahl."

Fran nodded, and then she and Penelo disappeared into the chaotic scene. Basch, Balthier, and Ashe were ridiculously outnumbered, but they did not let it damper their spirits. Balthier fired shot after shot, until finally he was out of ammunition and a mound of bodies lay around him. He was quick to grab a sword from a dead guard's hand and jump right back into the battle, his love for Vaan and his hatred toward his father and Seraph spurring him on. It was the only reason they didn't die. Several of the guards fled, and finally it looked to Balthier as if they were making headway.

He didn't know how long Cid and Seraph had been gone when he noticed, but at some point during the battle the cowards had fled. As he pulled his sword from the last standing guard, he eagerly looked around, just waiting for another batch of guards to burst through the door, but none came.

He grabbed one of the dying guards and dragged him to a sitting position, "Where is the boy?"

The guard said nothing.

"Basch," Balthier demanded, "Give me your dagger."

Basch pulled the small dagger from his boot and handed it to the pirate without argument. Balthier looked the guard in the eyes and plunged the blade into the man's leg, "WHERE. IS. THE. BOY?"

The guard screamed in pain, but still said nothing. Balthier sighed and twisted the blade in deeper, "I won't ask again."

"Dungeon! Dungeon!"

Balthier released his grip on the wailing man and let him fall to the floor with a thud, "Let's go."

He led the way, as he still knew it by heart, even after all these years. They turned a corner and there were Fran and Penelo. Penelo's sword was drawn and Fran's bow was aimed, and Balthier cursed when he saw why.

Seraph stood before them, a small knife against Vaan's throat. He was using the boy as a shield.

"How do you sink to this?" Balthier spat, "How could you have become nothing more than a dog for my father, using a boy as a shield?"

Seraph smiled, "You of all people should know how much a person can change in a few years, Ffamran, or shall I call you Balthier? It is Balthier now isn't it? To think…you…scared little Ffamran a sky pirate!"

"I guess people really do change," said Balthier, "But Cid must have offered you more than money, you wouldn't still be here otherwise."

"Money, power, a theater of my very own," chuckled Seraph, "Anything I wanted really, just as long as I never saw you again."

Balthier's jaw clenched and Vaan felt a mixture of sorrow and sympathy for his love when he saw it. Seraph's story would get no better, the son of a bitch had already told him all of this the night before. He had told him how Cid had offered him anything he wanted as soon as Balthier had gone to collect his things…

"_Go pack your things, Ffamran," said Seraph, glaring at Cid, "I'll come get you in an hour."_

_Ffamran had hesitated, worried for him, before he raced up the stairs without looking back._

"_You're either very brave or very stupid," Cid snarled, "Do you think I'll just let you take my son from this house?"_

"_You don't give a damn about him. Why would you even care?"_

"_He's my son. He'll grow out of this phase, he'll be trained. And one day he'll be my successor, when he's learned how."_

"_If I were to leave him here you'd beat him within an inch of his life for all of this."_

_Cid shrugged, "The boy knows there are consequences for his actions."_

"_You'll never lay a hand on him again," said Seraph, "No one will."_

"_What will it take?" asked Cid, crossing his arms._

_Seraph looked at him, confused, "What will what take?"_

"_What will it take for you to walk out of here and never see him again?"_

_Seraph shook his head, "There is nothing that could make me do that."_

_Cid smiled, "Everyone has a price."_

"_I don't. I love him," argued Seraph._

"_Do you honestly think he'll keep you around very long?"_

"_What do you mean? He loves me too, I know that."_

_Cid shrugged, "He may love you now, but Ffamran is a judge in training. He'll be an important man here in a few years. He won't keep a…a dancer around then. He'll be ashamed of you, and he'll dump you off."_

_Seraph shook his head, "Ffamran wouldn't do that," but his voice didn't sound as if he believed it._

"_Wouldn't he? You wouldn't be the first lover he's dumped off," Cid lied, "Why not get out now and at least gain something from all this?"_

"_He loves me," argued Seraph, "He'll look for me."_

"_Not if he thinks you're dead."_

Vaan had listened to Seraph's story the night before with contempt. He hated the man for hurting Balthier so, for lying to him and breaking his heart. But now, as he stood there between them he realized something. Seraph wasn't here because of some loyalty to Cid…he was there for Balthier. He still loved him.

It hit him with a crushing blow. He remembered the look in Balthier's eyes when he'd spoken of losing Seraph, when he'd talked about how in love with him he'd been. But that had been so long ago, and so much had happened since then, surely Balthier did not still love him as well.

"Either way you aren't leaving here alive," threatened Basch, "You might as well let the boy go."

Seraph didn't take his eyes off Balthier, "I've been following you for weeks Ffamran. I saw you in a crowd in Rabanastre. It could be like old times, just you and me. We could go anywhere; I'm a wealthy man now."

Balthier's eyebrows were knotted together in an expression Vaan had never seen on his face before, "What?" It was barely more than a whisper.

"I still love you Ffamran," said Seraph to Vaan's horror, "I always have. Come with me."

From the expression on the pirate's face, Vaan couldn't tell if he would go or not.

_To Be Continued…_

**Next chapter will be the last. Hope you guys are enjoying!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok guys this is it, the last chapter. Its 2:05 A.M and I can't sleep so I'm gonna finish this one up. If you've been following along all this time check out my new fic I just started, also a Balthier/Vaan, called "The Edge of Forever." I hope you enjoy!**

**Who Are You? And Who Am I?**

**Chapter 12**

Balthier stood, frozen at Seraph's offer. Vaan couldn't read the emotions that clouded his eyes, and tears began to prick at the corners of his own eyes. He suddenly hoped Seraph would kill him. He couldn't bear to watch the man he loved leave with someone else.

It was Basch who spoke first, "Balthier, surely you are not buying into this."

The words must have jarred the pirate from whatever dream world he had slipped into, "It's too late for that Seraph. I spent years grieving for you, missing you…loving you, I know now what a waste of time that was."

Vaan felt Seraph tense behind him, "I know you, Ffamran, better than you know yourself. Somewhere deep down inside you still love me, you'll regret not going with me. You may not get another chance."

Balthier shook his head, "No, you don't know me at all Seraph, not anymore. I don't love you anymore. I love Vaan, and my only regret I have is that I let what happened with you keep me from telling him that sooner. But you are right about one thing…I won't get another chance, because you aren't leaving this place alive."

Seraph smiled an evil, cruel smile, "I think you're mistaken about that."

"You're outnumbered," Ashe warned, "There is no way you can defeat us."

"Maybe not," said Seraph, "You can kill me Ffamran…but I'm taking your heart with me."

Balthier didn't have time to ask what he meant before Seraph slit Vaan's throat with one quick twist of his wrist. He fell to the floor, his hands automatically grasping at his throat, slick with blood. Balthier had somehow caught him before he hit the ground, and was cradling him against his chest.

Seraph fled the dungeon, but not before Fran let loose an arrow that pierced his shoulder. She and Basch followed after him, but lost him in the maze of tunnels and corridors that made up Draklor.

When Vaan next awoke he was lying not on the dirt floor of the Draklor dungeon, but in the bed he shared with Balthier aboard the Strahl. He tried to move, but found the effort too strenuous.

"How do you feel?"

He hadn't noticed Balthier sitting close by, the dark circles under his eyes evidence of his sleepless bedside vigil.

"I'll be ok," Vaan whispered. His throat was healed, but it was still sore, "Seraph got away?"

Balthier face darkened, "We'll find him, don't worry."

"You're going to go after him?"

Balthier looked surprised, "He tried to kill you Vaan. Damn near succeeded too. You don't think I'd let that go, do you?"

"Do you still love him?"

Balthier leaned in and kissed his forehead, "No, Vaan. I don't love him. It saddens me that what we had, what was so real for me apparently meant so little to him, but none of that matters now." He touched a ringed finger to his temple and gently massaged it.

"Your headaches," said Vaan, "You're still having them?"

He nodded, "They've gotten worse. I had intended to say something to Fran before, see if she had some Viera remedy, but…a lot has been going on."

Vaan met his gaze with a worried expression.

"Don't look at me like that Vaan, I'll be fine. You're the one that's injured remember?"

"I've already been healed," Vaan argued.

"You need rest. It took Fran several spells to get you patched up." He kissed Vaan gently, "I've got some things to do, please stay in bed and get some sleep."

Vaan started to argue but Balthier cut him off, "Please, Vaan. Do this for me."

He nodded, and Balthier kissed him once more before leaving the room. He took his time getting to the main room of the Strahl, his head hurt, and he knew the others were there waiting for him. He grimaced against the pain, and entered the room.

"There aren't many places Seraph can hide," he announced, "I'm going after him; anyone who doesn't want to come is welcome to leave now, no hard feelings."

No one moved. "Good," he said, "I'll be in the cockpit, we leave immediately."

He left the room and he was almost to the cockpit when he realized Basch was hurrying up behind him, "Balthier?"

"Problem Captain?"

"Is Vaan alright?"

"He'll be fine," said Balthier as he threw himself down into the pilot's chair.

"I'm sorry I landed the ship," said Basch, "I should have listened to you. I just thought…because of your injury…but you seem fine, I shouldn't have read too much into those headaches you had."

Balthier looked up at him, "I'm not angry at you Basch, if that's what you're getting at. Granted, it was your fault Vaan was kidnapped but you also risked your life to get him back. I'm grateful for that."

Basch nodded and turned to leave.

"Basch?"

"Yes, Balthier?"

"You…you weren't wrong about the headaches."

"What do you mean?"

"They're getting worse. I think something's wrong, they aren't like normal headaches."

Basch sat down beside him and met his gaze, "You need to have a doctor look at your head, Balthier. There isn't much we can do about such injuries here."

Balthier shook his head, "I don't have time for that."

"You'd best make time. Seraph is injured; you can afford to wait a few days before you go after him. Besides, if something happens to you what of Vaan? He won't be able to cope."

Balthier considered his words, "Fine. But this is between me and you. I don't want to worry Vaan."

Basch nodded, "Do you need me to find someone reliable to look at you?"

The pirate nodded, "I suppose I do."

Basch left and Balthier let his aching head fall back against his chair and thought of Vaan. It had taken him forgetting who he was to admit to Vaan that he loved him, and he wasn't about to lose him now. Sure Seraph had gotten away, and his head felt like it was going to explode, but all in all Balthier was happy. Vaan was going to be ok, and that was all that mattered. He loved him more than anything in the world, and Vaan loved him back. Losing his memory, he thought with a chuckle, had been the best thing that could have ever happened to him.

The End.

**Hope you enjoyed. So um…before you start screaming "You can't end it there!" let me go ahead and announce the sequel "This Is Who I Am", coming soon to a computer near you.**


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